This is how an addict feels.

"This withdrawal is killing me, it's like shock therapy to my guts." - Nikki Sixx.

Krypronite

     The sun rose this morning. Just as it rises every morning. The smoke fled the valley. Serenity. Even the trees were still. I stood in the doorway, taking a deep breath of the temporary fresh air. The sun, just beginning its climb into the blue sky, felt just a little warmer. Just a little. The dog wondered what I was looking at. I took another deep breath, deep enough for my back to crack right between my shoulders. Just a reminder of where my stress manifests itself. The last two weeks (with the exception of one night) have been hell. Just one disappointment after another, one thing after another falling apart, wrecked bike, and no paycheck when I was supposed to have it. I wish I could paint a picture of the clash of emotions waging war inside my head. Like living on the brim of an active volcano. Don't slam the door, it might just erupt. 

     Turning around a bad situation like mine is not an easy thing to do. Especially when you can't even agree with yourself about how to fix it. I've managed to agree with myself about two things at least. First, is that a change is in order. I'm not sure how big of one, but a change none the less. The second, is that I have discovered my Kryptonites, both red and green. I'm not sure what to make of this, I can be made weak and strong in the same instant. That's a psychotic rambling for another day. For today though, The Harlot is back in her stable.

     I've started pulling the old damaged parts off, in preparation for the new parts as they arrive. New headlight, master cylinders, mirrors, foot peg. I even managed to find an original backrest. You know, the one that was never sold in the US? While this may not seem like a big deal, it means I can have a T-Bag, now, which means 1500 mile treks across the country can be a little more comfortable now that I can carry a few more supplies.

 The actual headlight ring for a 1982 version of the V45. No more janky hack job.

Backrest goes here.

 

 Foot pegs tweak when 700 pounds of bike and rider are dropped on them.

Left and right Mirrors and Master Cylinders, going to be all chrome the next time they see daylight.

These are the things being replaced. I've also got some ideas in mind to upgrade a few things while I'm at it. I think some paint may be slung around, and some fabricating might be in order. When she rolls out of that garage again, she's going to be one mean bitch.

The wind picked up in the afternoon, the smoke came rolling in. I'd like to thank all the forest animals who have lost their homes, for giving us such a blood red sunset. Tomorrow it starts all over.

"She's a dwelling place for demons. She's a cage for every unclean spirit, every filthy bird, and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings. Fallen now is Babylon the great." Avenged Sevenfold - The Beast and the Harlot

Three years later...

First post in almost three years. Not going to get too into it tonight. Its been...a long day. Not a bad day mind you, just a long one. In fact, I'm going to keep it short and to the point.

Here's to mending bridges.

"Goodbye my friends, to hell with the sorrow, we have made amends." -Sixx:A.M. Goodbye My Friends.

A copy of my final Facebook post, for anyone who didn't see it before I hit the kill switch...

"Alright, here we go. My final Facebook post of all time. This next hour, is your last chance to tell me anything you want. I've done some fucked up shit in my life. Destroyed friendships, ruined lives, and been the living essence of evil at times. I don't feel that I've done a lot of good in my life, I don't care if you agree with me on that or not. I don't feel like a good person, and I blame it partially on Facebook. This site has made it so easy for me to take shots at people with the simple click of a button. Most of those people are gone now, just ash in the wind of the wasteland that I've created around me. There are a few, however, who are still here. To those people I would like to apologize from the deepest crevices of this battle-torn heart. While it was my intention to hurt you at the time, I shouldn't have. How you've managed to not kill me is beyond my ability to comprehend. The rest of you, the ones I haven't hurt, you're either good friends to me, or just good acquaintances. Either way, thank you for tolerating my shit. I've had my ups and downs, and most of you know that it's been mostly downs. What a lot of you don't know, is how much I miss seeing you. I feel like this website has completely destroyed the need for you to see me, because I've become so accustomed to posting so many of the details of my life. From now on, I'll be posting a blog every so often with small updates. (http://burningtheillusion.blogspot.com/) This is mostly for the people in my life who live out of state or out of the country. It might be angry at times. It will surely be violent, and passionate as well. If you don't want to see it. Don't look. I'm attempting to rebuild my life, and hopefully improve it. It's going to be a slippery slope, I'm sure to fall down, and get pissed off. Please don't leave me though. I'm going to need those of you who are left. So here we go, just a short time from now, it all goes down the drain.
P.S. Don't read into the song too literally, just figuratively."