The walls are going up. Defenses turned on. I'm never going to allow myself to fall so far for anyone again. This is killing me. I miss her so fucking much that I don't want to live any longer. Give me an out right now, and I'd take it. I don't care if it's the cowards way. Go ahead. Call me weak, because that's exactly what I am. Six months later and I still wake up thinking about her. Six months later and I still cry when I see how well she's doing, because all I want to do it hold her in my arms and tell her how proud I am of her. All I want is to see her one last time. To hold her. One last time. To hear her whisper "I love you." One. Last. Time. In fact, that's probably the only reason I haven't found a way to end it, because I want to say everything I should have said that day. I want to see her smile. One. Last. Time. I'm so fucked up. Feel sorry for the next girl to wander into my life, because she's going to wander into a fucked up mess. A mess she can't untangle. A mess she'll never understand, because I won't let her in. I won't let another soul in. For as long as I live, it's simply not worth it.
There's a major problem with saving angels. Once you break the chains that bind their wings, they want to fly, unfortunately for me, I'm stuck here in hell. No wings. No hope.
